Jo

Wow, ummm it's been a long time. I'm kinda lost for words I guess.

I got this nudge thing from Vicki *waves a shy hello* a few weeks ago and though I'd update this thing and then promptly forgot about it. Better late than never and all that crap eh? Shit does this feel weird or what. I'm thinking Twilight Zone music here.

I'll try and make this short and sweet. Well since I last updated Jack turned 2 (is 2yrs9mths now) and I had another baby, Lucinda Jane on June 9th 2005, plus I'm pregnant again, 15 weeks today (oops!). I've moved again, surprise :P and Got a new car, selling our shack now to pay for it. Ummm, not much else, all boring stuff like that really. Well the kids part of it isn't boring, but they are also the reason I never get to post here anymore, plus the whole on going lack of sleep issues :P Oh, and Paul (Dh) is doing good too :)

Ummm, photo's -
Jack


Lucy


They're both not the most recent, but they'll have to do til I dump some more off my digi cam.

If anyone actually still has me as a friend and reads this, then hey, g'day and all that good stuff. I think about you guys still, but it seems so long ago, that I was a part of this.

Something pissed me off last night so much that I felt the need to record it in here... now I can't remember what it was.

Happy Birthday to me,
Happy Birthday to me,
Happy Birthday dear meeeee,
Happy Birthday to me.


Thanks for the ecard Mandy, but I can't view it because the Hallmark site is down *grrrr*


Ok, well when I have something more constructive to add I will update I promise, just haven't really been in the journal writing mood for the past few months...

I had a rather bizare dream last night. I was at some stangers house and there were a lot of people in the room, they were all friends and I don't really know why I was there. I saw Matt Bellamy from across the room and thought he looked pretty hot, but kept my thoughts to myself. Well apparently I didn't do that too well. Next thing I know the other's are all looking at pictures of ManPower type guys and scrunching the pics into balls and putting tha paper into their mouth (weird just doesn't describe it :p). Then Matt turned to me and grabbed me to kiss me. It was very full on... and yummy :D Then we had sex! It was all very surreal, but he told me he loved me (???) and then he an d then others went to a swimming pool for a childs birthday party.

When I got home, I told Paul, my husband that Ihad just seen Matt Bellamy and we kissed. He told me he knew and that he also knew I'd had sex too. I asked why he was being so calm about it and he said that it was alright to do it occasionally and not to worry!

How bizzare. This is the second or third time that I've cheated on Paul in a dream and he hasn't cared. I wonder what it means?

Thanks for your comments in my last entry Matt :) *smooches*


This is for John and Louise, just something I found while browsing the net...

A Different Child
poem by Pandora MacMillian

People notice
There's a special glow around you.

You grow
Surrounded by love,
Never doubting you are wanted;
Only look at the pride and joy
In your mother and father's eyes.

And if sometimes
Between the smiles
There's a trace of tears,
One day
You'll understand.

You'll understand
There was once another child
A different child
Who was in their hopes and dreams.

That child will never outgrow the baby clothes
That child will never keep them up at night
In fact, that child will never be any trouble at all.

Except sometimes, in a silent moment,
When mother and father miss so much
That different child.

May hope and love wrap you warmly
And may you learn the lesson forever
How infinitely precious
How infinitely fragile
Is this life on earth.

One day, as a young man or woman
You may see another mother's tears
Another father's silent grief
Then you, and you alone
Will understand
And offer the greatest comfort.

When all hope seems lost,
You will tell them
With great compassion,
"I know how you feel.
I'm only here
Because my mother tried again."

*hugs*

I cried when I heard Come on Eileen on the radio the other night. Bawled my eyes out. It reminds me too much of friends I don't "see" anymore. Mostly of Brooke, mainly the rest of the hole/cave people. I really miss everyone. But, I don't think I can go back to how it was now. I had fun, but I've changed too much. So has everyone else. I'd love to keep in contact with everyone, but so much has gone on in my life since I last talked to anyone, I'm not sure what to say anymore. I feel I'm to blame because I've changed so much, I keep thinking if only there were a bit of the old Jo still around... but she's pretty much dead and buried.

I also feel guilty for having new online friends. Very guilty. They're mums like me and they're from all parts of Australia (we're going to meet up next year, yay!) instead of scattered all about the world. It's easy to find stuff to chat about with them because we always have our kids in common, but they will never occupy that special place I have in my heart for my first lot of online friends.

You guys showed me I could be me and not have to put on a "face" for others. You brought me out of my shell and I'm not only more outgoing online now, but I'm much less shy in RL as well. In fact when I met some of the girls in my RL Mother's Group they were amazed that I even thought of myself as shy. I told them I had always had trouble making friends and they wouldn't believe me. I am more confident, I care less about what people say, and I am happy. I'm very happy with my life.

I'm going to keep my yahoo on as much as possible if anyone wants to contact me, and I will try and update this as regularly as I remember to, but I don't think I will be posting much anymore. I love you all.

Hmmm...

Going to Alison and Aaron's Wedding on Saturday, only just rememberd to RSVP to it when Georgie rang this morning. Then I made a mad dash around the house looking for the invite which also had a groovy little card from the FLight Centre in it, which you can use to contribute to their honeymoon "fund" in lieu of a pressie - heaps easier than buying a real present, but I almost couldn't find the contact :b Got that done and finihsed cleaning the house before a friend (who's here visitng from QLD for the Wedding) was due to arrive and she never showed. Turns out she left my number at home and had to go up to Orford with her sister in law earlier than expected, bummer. Then I went and got Paul's suit from the dry cleaners and grabed some baby food from the shop (Jack's addicted to the Heinz Apple and Oatmeal one) and came home and found George on the front doorstep wanting to go for a walk.

Man this has been one very uneventful day... At least the weather was lovely...

Caught up with the my Mother's group girls yesterday, and Monday. It's so nice to socialise with other babies and Mum's and check out what they are all up to, I love them all. Jack is going to have at least two little friends from Mother's Group when he starts school - the other Jack (Michelle's baby) and Dayna (Seanna's baby). We're still working on June, but I think she wants to send Grace to Collegiate - poor baby girl, I wouldn't wish my old school on my worst enemy :p

I just rushed out of the shower with only one leg shaved and a very hastily rinsed head because I thought I could hear voices in the house. So there I am standing sopping wet in the bedroom (next to the ensuite) trying to decide if it's safe enough to investigate further, when I recognised it was just the guy from Playschool on the tv *insert tantrum throwing emote here*

Somehow the volume had gone up to 0 from -45, which on our amp is VERY LOUD *angry angry angry*

So I wrapped myself up in my towel, hoping no one would see me (we still don't have curtains in the lounge room) and sprinted to the tv to fix it. Once it was back to an audible level, I noticed the noise had woken Jack up - not happy Jan.

He was still wrapped and dummy-ed, but mumbling to himself in his cot, so I just went in and flicked the switch on the "fishes" and left again, I have my fingers crossed he'll drop back off soon.

I guess I'd better get off here and go finish my leg or I'll look pretty funny when I'm walking around town in 3/4 length pants and only one hair free leg showing :p

<td>Pholph's Scrabble Generator

My Scrabble© Score is: 13.
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Nothing overly LJ worthy to write at the moment...


Been having lots of food lately *lol* Went to the Taste for NYE, had a BBQ at John and Lou's for his birthday, a BBQ here just before Christmas. Lots of BBQ's... got another one next weekend at Rich and Tarsh's for her birthday and then one the week after at our shack for my Mum's 50th. Then we've got Alison and Aaron's Wedding to go to on the 24th and then another BBQ at our house for the Australia Day Hottest 100 on the Monday after that.

Then it's February. One twelth of the year gone already in BBQ's *lol* And we're supposed to start Weight Watchers again tonight, which means no more sausages or hamburgers, we have to have steaks and chicken on the Barbie, very uninteresting *ho hum* At least it's worth it :)


Hmmm, what else? I'm utterly outraged and embarrassed about Steve Irwin waving his baby in front of that crocodile, no matter how safe it was, it made me feel sick. It showed an absolute disregared for children in general, and it's not about how safe it was to be around such a beast, it's the whole attitude that brings on that sort of behaviour about that worries me. And besides, who bounces their one month old baby around on the ground like they're a rag doll anyway? Crocodile or not? And I'm told her let his daughter swim in the elephant(?) enclosure next door, I must have missed that bit. It's still no better. At least half of the problem is the childrens mother for handing the baby over in the first place, for even having the poor baby out in the sun like that without a hat, urgh, I could go on and on about this but I'd bore you all to tears and start getting even more self rightious :p


Jack's six months old now *sigh* It goes so quickly.